Sometimes the idea of “getting out there” seems like torture, but you have to do it, because the alternative is a life of sitting home alone, eating bags of beef jerky while watching trying to will myself into the headspace of the film’s main character, who takes great pleasure in fucking strange men—something I, too, used to find sexy and exciting, before my ex-girlfriend tore out my heart and threw it in the trash along with my will to live and my problematically high sex drive.
A couple nights later, I went to a dinner party on the Upper East Side.
As is common with short actors, this guy was very fond of himself, and within minutes he was playing aloud a recording of himself singing a song from his upcoming off-Broadway show.
As I politely smiled and nodded along to the ballad—a duet!
He was wearing high-waisted khakis and had overgrown nose hairs, but he was really sweet, and was becoming funnier with every sip of punch I took.
Primed by my screening of I was eager for an atypical experience, so I agreed to go back to his apartment.
It was when he attempted to grind with me to a Lana Del Rey techno remix that I finally made my escape.
But it wasn’t a true escape, because in the following days and then weeks, Tinder guy’s texts were incessant, despite my complete lack of response.I was looking for an experience, but this was the wrong one.Once the doctor took his clothes off, he looked way older than 50—he may have been pushing 60.Their brains literally go haywire, and they begin spewing out insults in a desperate attempt to rebuild their fragile egos.And this sad phenomenon has only been exasperated by online dating, which allows men access to countless more women who don’t want to have sex with them.My very wise friend Ally once said: “The New York dating scene is a war zone.