dating someone from another country online - Daily telegraph dating site

After all, when I meet someone in real life that I like, I tend not to say, "Hi, I'm Rhodri, and here's a list of food I don't like eating." The rules of attraction are just too complex to be held in a database and analysed by a computer.

Yes, anecdotes of hair-raising internet dates have become dinner-party staples – you know, like "he turned up wearing a toolbelt and immediately burst into tears" – and many were collected in a book published earlier this year. The plunge in self-esteem when your ideal partner remains as elusive as a taxi on New Year's Eve?

A quick disclosure: I have a couple of dating profiles online. But this isn't therapy masquerading as a self-pitying article by some bloke in his late-thirties – well, not much, anyway.

Some of them are model-like in their beauty, rapier-like in their wit or both.

All of them have approached internet dating with the most honourable of intentions: they're lured by the promise of romance, be it jazz and croissants on Sunday morning, or leaping out of a plane strapped to someone nice. They'd just like somebody, but somebody hasn't shown up.

We start to adopt a power-shopping mentality, disregarding people for arbitrary reasons; as my friend Sam put it, we cruise past people's pictures as if they're caravans in Daltons Weekly. – no, no, ugh." It's a compelling, but ultimately exhausting, process that these services have adapted, refined and streamlined because it's a brilliant way for them to make money.

While a service might lure you with a strapline saying "Meet sexy singles in your area", the truth is more like, "Reject perfectly decent singles in your area while waiting for the maddeningly elusive sexy ones." Everyone is trading off current opportunities against future possibilities.

In a thoughtful moment, you might even realise there are people you've had relationships with in the past who, if they appeared as an online match, you might reject.

And when you're the one being rejected, it can hurt. You join thinking you'll be nice and civilised and honest with people, but once people don't reply to your emails, you start doing the same to other people." Rejection may be a strong word to use.

But while I wouldn't want to date someone who gets a kick out of attending far-right political rallies, it's certainly true that opposites can attract.

I went out with a wonderful woman for seven years who loved Barbra Streisand. In a relationship these kind of things aren't an issue, but internet dating makes them into one.

It doesn't approach the horror of being told by a partner that they don't love you any more.

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