Hopefully, at some point, his partner will earn your trust.
Over time, you all will find a new normal for the revised family constellation.
Send psychologist Joti Samra your questions at [email protected]
She will answer select questions, which could appear in The Globe and Mail and/or The Globe and Mail website.
But your children are still devastated and adjusting to loss. It may actually increase their sadness and loss to experience someone in the “space” once occupied by their other parent.
Let’s look at the difference between how divorce and death affects adult children.
There can be a feeling of betrayal – that if somehow you were to accept your father's new partner that you would be betraying the memory of your mother.
The reality is that no one will ever take the place and role of your mother in your family.The question: My mother passed away a few years ago. I'm very happy for him, but I'm not sure how to behave. Do we act like we're all one family, or is it okay to keep some distance?The answer: Dealing with the loss of a parent can be a very upsetting and emotional experience, regardless of the age of the parent, the predictability of the death and even the quality or closeness of one's relationship with a parent. It is especially sweet when love comes to you after the devastating pain of divorce or death.At one time, you may have thought -I am so done with all this love stuff- too much pain!He may not have the words to express how he is feeling. Let him know that you miss your mom though, and that it is hard for you at times to see him with a new partner.