Dating in 40s

Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of , that she loved her nieces and nephews but did not want children of her own.

It’s about attracting men, understanding men, and making them want to stick around forever and ever. As to where you meet men, yes, there’s one place that’s more effective in making introductions than 100 visits to Whole Foods and Art History class combined.

So if it’s not already abundantly clear, dating advice is not about WHERE to meet men.

But it's like anything else – there's a way to do it successfully, and it's a great way to meet people you wouldn't normally meet.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single, attractive, heterosexual woman over the age of 40 must be in need of a man.

Or so Carrie Bradshaw would have you believe; and she is mostly right.

But for me, and my three best friends, the key word is “want” rather than need. Every day I get emails from women who want one-on-one dating coaching but don’t want to try online dating.Rather than dip your toe in the water and give up because you’re intimidated, I highly encourage you to check out Finding the One Online, in which I hold your hand through the entire online dating process, from getting over your fears, to choosing a website, to writing a profile, to flirting with men and so on.So we figured out – and accepted – that the right man does not magically appear when you’re ready for him.You have to work hard to find someone you really want and really like – or, as one married male friend put it, “someone normal” (apparently normal men are in short supply).And since you are now a wise, mature adult (or better at acting the part), you know it’s not a big deal to cut a guy loose by telling him that you’re not feeling a click. On the other hand, you might feel a huge click with a guy who doesn’t share any of your interests But since you’re more mature and wise, you get that shared values and personality characteristics are more important than shared interests. Beware the newly-divorced You will hear a lot of people talk about snagging good catches when they’re leaving their first marriages. But remember that newly-divorced men come with a lot of baggage. They might not know how to take care of themselves, and they might have complicated custody issues that keep them from travelling. Single, independent, accomplished 40-year-olds know there’s nothing to fear in being alone. Even your feminist friends will treat your single state as a project they need to fix …and they will spend much creative energy trying to find you a match.

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