The problem is most of us have never articulated what those values really are.
Marriage is budgets, laundry, broken toilets, work, weddings, funerals, births and everything in-between.
Can you envision enjoying everyday life with the person you’re dating?
For example, you could have a high value for responsibility and the person you’re dating could have a high value for risk.
Both values are good and not necessarily incompatible, but if not articulated and discussed, it could be a point of high conflict if the responsible person likes consistency and persistence, while the risk-taker likes changing things up and going for the impossible.
Become like some figment of their unrealistic dating imagination?
Or are they challenging you to become more like Christ and consequently, become a better, authentic you?
But when someone loves from their strengths, they know who they are and are drawing from a deep, full well to give to you without demanding a drink in return.
We all have insecurities, fears, failures, painful memories, and just all around unattractive stuff we’re hiding in the back of our closet.
But just because you want to pretend your monsters don’t exist doesn’t mean they’re just going to magically go away. As I wrote in my book 101 Secrets for your Twenties,“Newly married and living in a small apartment is no place to store a luggage set full of your baggage.